I got a call from China
She sent me her picture too
She told me she had a restaurant
Close to the panda zoo

We chatted till the morning
And then we kissed online
My Chinese improved with every word 
I had it all for a nickel and a dime

“I want you to come to China
And taste my shark fin soup”
I kept asking about its flavour 
In a weird long distance loop

O My Chinese Sorrow To Be!
Are you a robot or are you like me?
O My Chinese Sorrow To Be!
Do you love me or just want a fee?   

She texted that she loved me
And soon I did the same
I asked her if it wouldn’t work out
Was I to get the blame?

Our love affair seemed promising
Full of ornamental fish
I taped my voice and pushed the button
I clearly spoke a wish 
That if the world would end tomorrow
I could be in your bed
Me gazing at Mao on the wall
While you, you went ahead 

O My Chinese Sorrow To Be!
Are you a robot or are you like me?
O My Chinese Sorrow To Be!
Do you love me or just want a fee? 

I demanded what she was having for dinner
Noodles with scorpions she said
I thought that sounds like dangerous stuff
And hang up with a sense of dread

She sent me a photo of her evening meal
I could hardly see anything at all
I put my phone away for the night
And out of it came the scorpions crawl…

O My Chinese Sorrow To Be!
Are you a robot or are you like me?
O My Chinese Sorrow To Be!
Do you love me or just want a fee?